FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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