It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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