yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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