I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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