just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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