you have to choose: penises or morals?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My life is pants optional.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize