is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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