let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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