I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize