I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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