He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize