I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
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How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Drunk is not a location!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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