You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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