just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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