How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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