dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
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Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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