He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
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A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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