i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
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I think I sprained my soul last night
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
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He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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