Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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