I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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