I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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