I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize