I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I could fuck to npr.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize