Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize