I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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