The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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