im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize