If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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