Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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