More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize