"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
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I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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