life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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