this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
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Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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