It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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