1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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