she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize