Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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