His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize