Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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