wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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