yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize