I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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