just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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