Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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