Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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