do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize