He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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