I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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