we're chasing vodka with high fives
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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