Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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